The 15 Commitments

Conscious commitment begins the process of positive change and relational and organizational resolution. we define commitment using its latin origin, committere, which means to gather one’s energy and move it in a chosen direction.
Using this definition, we view commitment as an energetic experience and not a moral issue. We invite you to embrace these 15 commitments as your entry-gate into “By Me,” a life free of victimhood. Following each commitment is the “To Me” commitment; the way people show up when they are living and leading (either consciously or unconsciously) from the belief that life is happening to them.

1. Responsibility

I commit to taking full responsibility for the circumstances of my life, and my physical, emotional, mental and spiritual wellbeing. I commit to support others to take full responsibility for their lives.

I commit to blaming others and myself for what is wrong in the world. I commit to being a victim, villain, or a hero and taking more or less than 100% responsibility.

2. Curiosity

I commit to growing in self-awareness. I commit to regarding every interaction as an opportunity to learn. I commit to curiosity as a path to rapid learning.

I commit to being right and to seeing this situation as something that is happening to me. I commit to being defensive especially when I am certain that I am RIGHT.

3. Feelings

I commit to feeling my feelings all the way through to completion. They come, and I locate them in my body then move, breathe and vocalize them so they release all the way through.

I commit to resisting, judging and apologizing for my feelings. I repress, avoid, and withhold them.

4. Candor

I commit to saying what is true for me. I commit to being a person to whom others can express themselves with candor.

I commit to withholding my truth (facts, feelings, things I imagine) and speaking in a way that allows me to try to manipulate an outcome. I commit to not listening to the other person.

5. Gossip

I commit to ending gossip, talking directly to people with whom I have an issue or concern, and encouraging others to talk directly to people with whom they have an issue or concern.

I commit to saying things about people that I have not or will not say to them. I commit to talking about people in ways I wouldn’t if they were there. I commit to listening to others when they gossip.

6. Integrity

I commit to the masterful practice of integrity, including acknowledging all authentic feelings, expressing the unarguable truth and keeping my agreements.

I commit to living in incompletion by withholding my truth, denying my feelings, not keeping my agreements, and not taking 100% responsibility.

7. Appreciation

I commit to living in appreciation, fully opening to both receiving and giving appreciation.

I commit to feeling entitled to “what’s mine,” resenting when it’s not acknowledged in the way I want.

8. Genius

I commit to expressing my full magnificence, and to supporting and inspiring others to fully express their creativity and live in their zone of genius.

I commit to holding myself back and not realizing my full potential by living in areas of incompetence, competence and excellence.

9. Play

I commit to creating a life of play, improvisation, and laughter. I commit to seeing all of life unfold easefully and effortlessly. I commit to maximizing my energy by honoring rest, renewal and rhythm.

I commit to seeing my life as serious; it requires hard work, effort and struggle. I see play and rest as distractions from effectiveness and efficiency.

10. Opposite of My Story

I commit to seeing that the opposite of my story is as true or truer than my original story. I recognize that I interpret the world around me and give my stories meaning.

I commit to believing my stories and the meaning I give them as the truth.

11. Approval

I commit to being the source of my security, control and approval.

I commit to living from the belief that my approval, control and security come from the outside; people, circumstances and conditions.

12. Enough

I commit to experiencing that I have enough of everything... including time, money, love, energy, space, resources, etc.

I commit to a scarcity mentality choosing to see that there is “not enough” for me and others in the world and therefore I have to be conscious of making sure I get and preserve what is “mine.”

13. Allies

I commit to seeing all people and circumstances as allies that are perfectly suited to help me learn the most important things for my growth.

I commit to seeing other people and circumstances as obstacles and impediments to getting what I most want.

14. Win For All

I commit to creating win for all solutions (win for me, win for the other person, win for the organization, and win for the whole) for whatever issues, problems, concerns, or opportunities life gives me.

I commit to seeing life as a zero-sum game, creating win/lose solutions for whatever issues, problems, concerns, or opportunities life gives me.

15. Being The Resolution

I commit to being the resolution or solution that is needed: seeing what is missing in the world as an invitation to become that which is required.

I commit to responding to the needs of the world with apathy or resentment and doing nothing or assigning blame to others.