In this episode of “The Tim Ferriss Show”, we explore how partners can stay connected through conflict, misunderstanding, and change.
Jim Dethmer offers a practical framework for separating observable facts from the stories we create about our partners. He shows how distinguishing what actually happened from the meaning we assign to it can create greater awareness, reduce reactivity, and open the door to more honest and connected conversations.
Whether you’re here to lead with less drama, get better results, or stop repeating the same patterns – you’re in the right place. Start here:
The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership is where it all begins. You’ll never see leadership – or yourself – the same way again.
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“One key aspect of my experience with CLG has been being shoulder-to-shoulder with somebody who sees me and reflects what they see, without fear.
That reflection has allowed me to understand how I’m showing up – what patterns are at work, what’s actually happening inside of me, not just outside.
It’s a very collaborative lens that has allowed me to understand myself better and ultimately decide how I want to be, what I choose to think, what I choose to let go of.
All that adds up to this beautiful mirror of self-awareness, self-compassion, and self-forgiveness. That’s extraordinary. That’s rare. You don’t find this on a therapist’s couch. You don’t find this on a weekend retreat. I have found this powerfully through CLG.”
Founder & CEO, Madison Reed
“My leadership is different through the CLG process.
I now have a deeper understanding of how I operate – both my strengths and my blind spots – without blame. That allows me to own those things in front of my team and invite feedback about them.
It has empowered my team in ways I don’t think I was ever doing before. These have been incredibly effective tools — and my team is giving me feedback about that. They see me as a changed leader.
The work I’ve done in CLG has impacted all parts of my life. I understand my patterns, my responsibility for them, and I make choices to change them.”
Director, Yo&Co
“My time with Kate is like coming home to a warm, safe place where I’m fully seen without judgment.
I’m able to explore and nurture all the tender parts that hold me back and keep me small. She knows how to ask just the right questions to open my perspective and see new possibilities for being and doing, dramatically improving my impact on the world – at work and at home.”
Founder, Coaches Rising
“Yes, you’ll find powerful distinctions and tools. But the real secret sauce of Conscious Leadership is the embodiment.
You can see the depth of work they’ve done in how they hold space. The models are great but what stands out is the combination of love and challenge, presence and agency.
The work cuts straight to the core very quickly. It’s incredibly deep and also very practical.
I used to say conscious leadership is relevant for our times. I think now it’s a necessity. People need it.”
CEO, GraphiteRX
“I had the privilege of working with Jonathan Basker as my executive coach for several years, and I cannot recommend him highly enough, especially for early-stage founders seeking guidance in their leadership journey.
Jonathan’s approach to coaching is both profound and practical. He has a deep understanding of the unique challenges that startup founders face, and his focus goes beyond mere business advice. Instead, Jonathan excels at supporting founders in building and managing high-performing teams, which is crucial for startup success.
What sets Jonathan apart is his holistic approach to personal and professional development. Jonathan’s coaching philosophy encourages embracing discomfort as a pathway to growth, fostering self-awareness, and maintaining authenticity in leadership.
Throughout our coaching relationship, Jonathan consistently demonstrated his commitment to my success. For early-stage founders looking to elevate their leadership skills, manage team dynamics effectively, and cultivate a thriving organizational culture, Jonathan Basker is an excellent choice. His unique blend of empathy, insight, and practical tools makes him an outstanding executive coach. I highly recommend Jonathan to any founder ready to embrace personal growth and transform their leadership approach!”
CEO, Sozo Ventures
“Joyce is so present it creates a tangible energy field.
From that presence and the trust she creates, I find myself opening up and watching whatever is eating at me all spill out, often in circuitous, drama-ridden monologues. Joyce then flexes her gift to listen, absorb and find signal. She brings the focus back to the choices and behaviors that are impeding my energy, and awakening me to how I impede the energy of those closest to me. The resulting realization is – ‘Oh, this is on me to make this situation better…’ How Joyce accomplishes that in a way that makes me feel excited – and not threatened – is fascinating and frankly, elusive to me. Together, we find the underlying driver of unconscious choices and then co-develop a targeted behavioral change at the root level.
Joyce navigates me in every session from ‘what’s wrong with the world?’ to helping me see it’s in my power to change any pattern to improve the situation, simply by becoming aware of my choices. So, if you’re willing to have your full self reflected back at you in a remarkable and honest way, if you’re willing to confront the challenging issues in your life, and you’re willing to take full responsibility for creating the improvements you want, Joyce is the coach for you.”
Chief People Officer, Brex
“I’ve worked with Sierra at both Gem and Brex, where she coached and facilitated our executive teams with exceptional impact. I can’t imagine a more powerful partner to help transform how we communicate, collaborate, and lead.
Her superpowers are undeniable: she earns trust instantly, meets us exactly where we are, and challenges us to voice what’s often left unsaid. But her facilitation goes beyond insight – it’s transformative. With a rare blend of challenge, creativity, and heart, she pushes us to embrace candor, step beyond our comfort zones, and experiment with new ways of working together that elevate our leadership dynamic.
At Brex, the language and learnings from our sessions with Sierra have become embedded in our daily leadership dialogue, strengthening our team and driving real, lasting impact.”
Head of Brand, Anthropic; Co-Founder, ReflectiveWorks
“Joyce has helped me to access parts of me that I had blocked. She has helped me to identify and integrate different facets of who I am, in service of who I want to become, unlocking a new sense of agency, potential and aliveness.
In just a few months, I feel more balanced, more confident, and more capable than I have before. She is a gifted listener with a profound sense of intuition.
Joyce gently challenges and pushes me when I am being less than honest. She calls out inconsistencies in my thinking with kindness, and most welcome of all, she helps me laugh at myself when I start taking things too seriously. As a result, she has helped me to identify limiting beliefs and recognize and address patterns of behaviour that no longer serve me.
Joyce is empathetic and kind while bringing a powerful insistence on authenticity and honesty. I look forward to every single session knowing I will feel clearer, calmer and more alive. If you get the chance to work with her, you should.”
Former CEO, MegaFood; Founder, ScalePassion
“Jim Fallon has a unique ability to get to the heart of your objectives and then connect you deeply to them.
He is a master at asking the perfect question in any situation you might be facing – and then making it easy for you to remember the lessons you have learned along the way. Jim is truly gifted and it is a joy and very impactful for me to work with him on my personal development.”
VP of Performance Marketing, DailyPay
“I have been working with Jonathan Basker for over five years over two leadership roles, and working with Jonathan has been absolutely transformative to my performance as an executive and leader.
Jonathan is empathetic, engaged, and growth-oriented, and has developed a program customized around my needs and biggest learning opportunities. I would not be where I am as a leader today without Jonathan in my corner — and not only do the results speak for themselves in my career, I have recommended him countless times to colleagues and friends as well. I highly recommend Jonathan for anyone who is looking to improve their effectiveness as a manager, executive or leader in any context!”
Co-Founder & Chief Product Officer, Family Room
“I would count Michael as truly one of my deepest and most meaningful teachers.
His ability to sit with me authentically, push me out of my comfort zone and do it all in such a caring way, really allowed me the space to grow and learn in a way that I never have before. He is someone that offers a blend of wisdom, empathy, and tactical strategies for navigating the complexities of this journey. He helped me to reconnect to my creative and playful inner child and to truly see the value in that as it shapes who I am and how I show up.
If you are looking for someone who is committed to understanding and sharing the wisdom traditions with others and connecting that to your own personal growth, Michael is a beautiful guide.”
Founder & CEO, TestBox
“Working with Sierra over the past 6 months has transformed both my executive team and my own approach to leadership.
Sierra holds us accountable while showing real compassion at the same time. She created a space where my team and I could finally speak openly about issues we’d been avoiding.
Together, we’ve built a shared language that cuts through the noise and focuses us on what truly matters. Through our work together, Sierra has helped me see my own patterns clearly. I’ve learned to give myself space during difficult moments while also setting clearer boundaries. My communication has become more intentional, and I’m now more confident in establishing standards and holding people to them.
This work with Sierra is about transformation in how we operate. She brings both support and challenge to every interaction. The impact on our team dynamics and results has been profound, and I’m grateful for how she’s elevated our collective leadership.”
“I have worked with few coaches throughout my career but no one has made as much impact on my personal development as Kate.
She is an exceptional career coach and a wonderful person. Kate is a great listener, and asks thought-provoking questions. She acknowledges practical and emotional considerations of a difficult situation and conflict, and finds easy to implement solutions that she also helps rehearse with her clients to give them additional confidence and preparation for their important discussions. I always look forward to my sessions with Kate because I know I will learn a lot from our interactions. She has helped me become a calmer leader, and has made me see and approach problems with a more playful, drama-free angle, which in turn makes problem-solving less exhausting and more straightforward and fun. I feel that after talking to Kate I can handle any issue, and that nothing is that big of a deal!
I highly recommend Kate and CLG to anyone looking to learn about themselves, grow into a better leader, and become more masterful in dealing with people and problems, at and outside of work.”
Chief Creative Officer International, 72andSunny; ADWEEK Creative 100; AdAge Leading Women
“There is nothing quite like deeply seeing and knowing yourself to build trust in your own leadership. This work is an excavation of the complex layers that shape how you show up in the world.
Joyce brings you into the work with warmth, non-judgment, and wisdom. It’s confronting to become conscious of the ways you may have been toxic in your leadership and your relationships in general, but somehow this work enables you to accept and even appreciate your own humanity.
The material itself is life-changing, but Joyce vulnerably commits to her own growth alongside you. She is profoundly, electrifyingly joyous in her work. Joyce has found her calling, and you can really feel it. She is magnetic and inspiring, and her self-awareness offers an invitation to go deep. I could not recommend Joyce more highly as a coach, facilitator, or just a general love bomb of nurturing wisdom and joy.”
Co-Founder, Tufin
“Jim Fallon is a truly unique executive coach.
Having been a successful CEO himself for many years, he has profound insight into the challenges faced by executives. His curiosity and deep passion to help others enabled me to fully explore difficult topics and reach profound observations about my life.”
“Simply put, Jim Dethmer will deliver transformational impact for your organization.
The 15 Commitments to Conscious Leadership and Jim’s mastery in training and facilitating companies to embrace its principles has allowed our company to increase trust, curiosity, and the quality of our creative product.”
Co-CEO, Ariel Investments; Chairwoman, DreamWorks Animation; Board Member, Starbucks, Estée Lauder & Groupon
“Jim Dethmer is a master teacher of the hardest subject of them all: leadership.
His no-nonsense feedback is direct, constructive, never judgmental and loaded with compassion. His teachings have transformed our workplace and our lives.”
“My experience with CLG is that it’s a very professional approach that is listening oriented.
Kate listens and gets me to come to the table with insight and guidance. She’s super grounded and caring and takes an individualized approach. It’s not an off-the-shelf experience — it really meets the person where they’re at.”
VP of People, Proton
“Sierra made me feel so comfortable from day one. Authenticity and integrity are so important and I felt that from day one in our relationship.
It was easy to work through fears in an environment that was really safe. I felt seen very quickly. There aren’t a lot of people in the world who can see others for who they are. Sierra is able to see you and tell you ‘hey let’s have the uncomfortable conversations, let’s work through the difficult things…’ That makes me so grateful to work with her as a coach.”
Co-Founder, Plumb
“Michael is the best thing I have done for myself in the past 3 years. It is both a warm and challenging experience.
With Michael, I learned the practice of knowing and accepting every part of myself, including what the motivation was for each part. We had fun as he helped me stay curious about the parts of myself I was too afraid to be with (and thanks to him I was able to understand my fear of being afraid). My relationships (including my relationship with myself) are richer and continually more clear because of the time we spent together.”
“The most immediate impact of Conscious Leadership was how much the training bled into everyday life and holistically me as a person, not just who I am in work but who I am outside of work as well.
This isn’t just ‘business training’. The growth that I have felt in myself throughout and how I approach situations has just been remarkable.”
“CLG coaching is such a great combination of left and right brain work. It feels very structured, and it’s powerful when there’s a concrete framework combined with the somatic work. The outcome of wherever you show up—whether it’s a meeting or a one-on-one—is different. I’m able to create a lot more sense of safety for my business partner and our team members, and that creates a lot more fluid collaboration and communication. CLG coaching is so much more than business coaching. It changed my perspective and life philosophy in such an empowering, truthful, and aligned way.”
Co-Founder & CEO, Multiply Labs
“I felt so prepared technically when I started my founder journey.
At the same time I had zero training in terms of people management. Coaching has been fantastic because we go and address underlying emotions and patterns. The Conscious Leadership Approach has been invaluable because it has provided me with tools that I was really structurally missing before.”
Former CEO & President, University of Vermont Health
“The impact of Conscious Leadership on me was not only at work but in everything that I was doing.
Shifting my mindset and getting the team to the place where we didn’t feel like victims, but instead asking, What is the opportunity here? What is a different way to tell this story? What can we learn from what’s going on? What do we have control over and what can we do? We made better decisions to care for our patients and communities as a result of that. We worked better together from being in that space. I would recommend Conscious Leadership to any leader that is open to challenging themselves and is open to looking at the world differently.”
Co-Founder & President, Newbury Franklin
“The quality of the coaching I’ve received from CLG has just been game-changing.
The biggest impact that coaching has had for me is how I approach conflict. Today, conflict shows up for me as taking my 100% responsibility. I have less drama in my life now and much less tolerance for drama. It’s fundamentally changed how I’m making decisions in our business.”
“CLG has been a fantastic way to ground everyone in a common language and a common approach to the way we want to operate. It really has influenced everything we do.
It has given us a framework and a context and a container that really is delivering professional results. I live and breathe this every day and it’s been one of the most liberating things for me to integrate these practices into my life.”
General Partner, Foundation Capital
“The work with CLG and the impact it’s had on Foundation Capital is nothing short of transformational. The sense of being supported by each other, a real shared understanding and clarity around why we’re here has changed how we work together. We now share what’s going on, good and bad, in real time – often making corrections and repairing issues in the same meeting where they come up – and the level of drama has never been lower. Whatever preconceived notions you have around coaching or working with facilitators to get your organization to level up, throw all that stuff in the bin. Come to the CLG approach as a place to really come from love and joy and creativity, as opposed to coming at the world and its problems from a place of fear or scarcity.”
“Working with Joyce has really been deeply transformative for me. The impact has extended far beyond work into every part of my life.
In my organization I have seen faster conflict resolution, which saves enormous time and emotional energy. I’ve also seen clearer accountability because we are more explicit about commitments and ownership. The impact it has had on me as a leader is also that I have become much more aware of when I am below the line in fear or defensiveness. That alone has changed the tone of so many different difficult conversations that I have had to have.
Joyce has really helped me clarify my zone of genius and this clarity has also given me the immense courage to reshape my role in Love Bonito and to commit more deeply to the work I want to do. Because of this work, I’m not just high-performing — I’m more self-aware, honest, responsible, and grounded. The ripple effects have touched my team, my family, and my entire community.”
Chairman & Co-President, Lila Sciences
“My journey at CLG has been nothing short of life-changing.
The biggest piece I’ve practiced is disconnecting from drama. I can see when I bring drama to situations – and that drama is not productive energy.
When people take 100% responsibility, drama goes down and accountability goes up. And so does your ability to delegate authority.
Without that, leadership lessons don’t work. You have to wrestle down the fundamental human condition of drama.”
Founder, Amna
“I have been working with Michael for the past two years and I can honestly say that the work has been transformational.
Michael has helped me through several life changing transitions and continues to support me as I navigate these.
Michael is wise, connects deeply without losing sight of our agreed boundaries and keeps a playful approach even as we wade through deep waters and face the heavy stuff of life. He is sensitive to my lived experience as a leader who has experienced trauma and has worked with people with trauma and adept in working with whatever comes up in our sessions.
Despite our vastly different backgrounds, I feel understood in our session and when we come up against differences, Michael approaches my lived experience respectfully, sensitively and with a curiosity that makes me feel seen and valued as an individual rather than a category. Because of our work, I feel awake, more and more resourced and alive – and very grateful for this truly exceptional practitioner.”
“I built and ran a public company for a dozen years without conscious leadership. And then, subsequently, I’ve built, companies with conscious leadership. It’s night and day.
You have high-speed learning, and you get much deeper, much faster than you would with other programs.
To say it’s been life-changing is an understatement.”
“CLG has been transformative for me. The coaches don’t collude with my stories. They help me find a truer level underneath that. They’ve done their own work – they’re living it – and I trust their guidance because I see them practicing it.
The biggest benefit is I’m more aware of the difference between facts and my stories. I’m better at recognizing when I’m triggered and getting curious about it.
As a team, there is less drama, less recycling of issues. Disagreements come up – and they get dealt with. We get to decisions more quickly because people actually say what they’re thinking and feeling.
It’s lighter. It’s more fun. It’s better to work in our company when we’re applying these principles.”
Founder, Coaches Rising
“Yes, you’ll find powerful distinctions and tools. But the real secret sauce of Conscious Leadership is the embodiment.
You can see the depth of work they’ve done in how they hold space. The models are great but what stands out is the combination of love and challenge, presence and agency. The work cuts straight to the core very quickly. It’s incredibly deep and also very practical.
I used to say conscious leadership is relevant for our times. I think now it’s a necessity. People need it.”
CEO, TruDiagnostic
“CLG has been transformative for me. The coaches don’t collude with my stories. They help me find a truer level underneath that. They’ve done their own work – they’re living it – and I trust their guidance because I see them practicing it. The biggest benefit is I’m more aware of the difference between facts and my stories. I’m better at recognizing when I’m triggered and getting curious about it.
As a team, there is less drama, less recycling of issues. Disagreements come up – and they get dealt with. We get to decisions more quickly because people actually say what they’re thinking and feeling. It’s lighter. It’s more fun. It’s better to work in our company when we’re applying these principles.”
Founder & CEO, Gigawatt.ai
“One key aspect of my experience with CLG has been being shoulder-to-shoulder with somebody who sees me and reflects what they see, without fear. That reflection has allowed me to understand how I’m showing up – what patterns are at work, what’s actually happening inside of me, not just outside. It’s a very collaborative lens that has allowed me to understand myself better and ultimately decide how I want to be, what I choose to think, what I choose to let go of.
All that adds up to this beautiful mirror of self-awareness, self-compassion, and self-forgiveness. That’s extraordinary. That’s rare. You don’t find this on a therapist’s couch. You don’t find this on a weekend retreat. I have found this powerfully through CLG.”
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