Presence is a Habit of the Mind

A few months ago, a client landed her dream job. When we met several weeks in, I asked how it was going.

“I’m a total fraud and I’m never going to make it in this role.”

Ah. Hello, Imposter Syndrome.

As she spoke, the list of anxieties grew longer: all the reasons her CEO made a mistake hiring her, how she overprepared yet froze in critical meetings, and how she’s ending every day exhausted and doubting her capability.

She wasn’t just thinking she was a fraud – she was building a case. She’d gone out of her way to collect loads of data to support the story she already inherently believed. She was entirely hooked by the seductive voice whispering: You’re not good enough.

I asked her to try a slight tweak: say the same thought again, but start with this phrase:

“The story I’m telling myself is…”

“The story I’m telling myself is that I’m a total fraud.”
“The story I’m telling myself is that I’m never going to make it in this role.”

Naming it as a “story” was like breaking an illusion. 

Instead of being fused to her thoughts as reality, she could now see her mind’s familiar pattern of believing the fear-driven narrative that she wasn’t competent. A limiting story that had surfaced many times before. Naming and recognizing the pattern opened the doorway for her to shift back to presence. 

Noticing the story once isn’t enough. The familiar narratives and thought patterns can pull you back like a tide. Naming it is a practice: Each time you catch yourself hooked and reactive, you strengthen the habit of presence and create space to shift.

That moment of naming creates just enough distance to see the mind’s narrative, rather than letting it run the show. From there, you get to choose: Keep living from the limiting story, or let it go.

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Habits of the Mind

Will Durant, paraphrasing Aristotle, wrote:“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

Conscious leadership isn’t an act—it’s a habit. 

Habit-building expert James Clear calls habits “the compound interest of self-improvement.” Lasting transformation rarely comes from a single significant action. It’s the small, consistent choices, repeated over time, that truly reshape you.

When it comes to presence, the small action is simple: Catch the story. Name it. Repeat. Over time, this practice rewires old neural pathways and builds the mental muscle to notice, pause, and choose consciously. 

Think of it like music. You don’t take one guitar lesson and expect mastery. Of course not. You practice. The same way George Harrison rehearsed until “Let It Be” became second nature.  Building the muscle of consciousness works the same way, but the strings you’re practicing on are your thoughts.

Each time you notice a thought like “They’re wrong,” “I’m not enough,” or “This shouldn’t be happening,” you see your story and arrive at a choice point. And that moment of awareness changes everything, because you can’t shift what you can’t see.

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Wanting Isn’t Enough

Leaders often tell me: “I want to be more present and less reactive.” 

Good intentions are a start. But lasting change requires structure, commitment, and reps. Each time you name your story, you cast a vote for conscious leadership. Each time you don’t, the old pattern tightens its grip. Of course, slipping back into old ways of thinking is natural. Building a habit doesn’t require perfection. Just intention, commitment, and recommitment.

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3 Simple Ways to Build the Habit of Naming the Story

1. Have a Visual Cue
Stick a Post-it where you’ll see it:
“What’s the story I’m telling myself?”
Let it catch you mid-scroll, mid-rant, or mid-meeting. Apps like MindJogger or scheduled calendar prompts can also be effective ways to send yourself reminders throughout the day.

2. Link it with another activity
This habit-stacking method, as outlined by James Clear, reliably yields results. Connect the new action to something you already do—like brushing your teeth, making your morning coffee, or plugging in your phone at night.

“After I [current habit], I will ask: What story am I believing right now?”

Name it out loud or write it down.

3. Use the Buddy System
Invite a friend, coach, or colleague to be your accountability partner. Ask each other: “What story have you been hooked on today?” Agree on a cadence and practice together.

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Make your habit stick — for you and your team.

Presence isn’t a wish. It’s a habit. And the moment you practice it—naming the story instead of being run by it—you change the trajectory of your leadership.

And right now, at year’s end, the stakes are higher than usual. The stories you and your team carry forward will either weigh down the landing or fuel the takeoff.

Don’t wait for January to “start fresh.” How you complete this year is the seedbed for what grows in 2026. This is the leverage point.

The leaders I work with don’t just want to manage stress or silence the voice of Imposter Syndrome. They want to lead with clarity, alignment, and freedom from the narratives that keep them small. They want to build teams that land whole and take off energized.

If that’s you, now is the time to practice. One story at a time. One rep at a time. This is how you land the plane.